Recollection 3

Things were both good and bad but THIS year...he webt across all limits. From February till May he was gone. GONE and again i was terrified, dying, crying and this time. I thought he just lost his mind again so i just gotta remind him again so i used all the phones, simcards,every relative phones to reach him. Every social media to find him. But no use. I posted 20 billion times everywhere tagging him. For 4 months. Yet he said nothing...Then when he came. Accused me for every bad thing i didn't even do. By then, my ache and over thinking. Ruined my entire sanity and mental health. I lost all my emotions and couldn't analyze anything anymore. Started having severe dementia with depression. By the time he came, i was already nothing. Ik everyone would ask why do this for someone LIKE him? Well, i can't explain to someone exactly how much he meant to me. I grew up in a family where love was a luxury. My family wanted a son but i was a daughter so every relative and even my own parents hated me like I'm a curse. Father abandoned and mother never forgot to make me remember that because of me her life is ruined. Tho it's not my fault at all. Relatives only judge and expect, parents only force me to be their ideal perfect robot. Friends took advantage and left. I was desperate to be loved. The way he cared for me felt like everything i ever needed. So i accepted every pain that came with it. He made me feel whole. When he came, he said he doesn't want a romantic relationship anymore but i still tried a lot then gave up. Then he fell for me again. Things were again messy. With time our works and responsibilities grew and changes in life. Saw his improvement so much i threw away all the past trauma but, i was wrong. I changed no, i became the better version of me. This year. As an adult. Hormonal issues were gone and i was finally able to regulate my feelings and find the peace of my mind. He? Idk. He developed in different ways. Before, i was the only source of his peace tbh or at least the main source. Now he has finally found loyal friends and his family at least understands him a bit better. In my case, recently i found loyal people. Before? I had hundreds of people i knew but none were close. So i chose him.