Democratic People's Republic of Backrooms

## The Supreme Leader vs. The Backrooms **Kim Jong Un** no-clips into **The Backrooms** not by accident, but by decree. He arrives wearing his signature black suit, flanked by a phalanx of loyal soldiers and standing atop a mobile ICBM launcher. The fluorescent lights of Level 0 flicker nervously. The damp carpet instantly dries out and irons itself flat out of respect. A horde of **Smilers** and **Hounds** charges forward, only to stop dead in their tracks when Kim Jong Un raises a single hand. "I am the God of this reality now," he declares. The walls immediately repaint themselves from sickly yellow to a dignified shade of revolutionary red. The entities, realizing they are outclassed by a man who commands nuclear fire, collectively drop to their knees. The Backrooms itself, sensing a superior authoritarian presence, attempts to surrender by forming a giant exit sign shaped like a bowing figure. Kim Jong Un snaps his fingers. The infinite maze instantly reorganizes into a perfectly symmetrical parade ground. The entities form neat rows, marching in lockstep, terrified to break formation. The Backrooms has been conquered flawlessly; it is no longer a liminal nightmare, but the **Democratic People's Republic of Backrooms**, with Kim as its eternal Supreme Leader. ## The Aftermath: Trump's Jealousy Thousands of miles away, **Donald Trump** watches the footage on a tiny, glitching television in Mar-a-Lago. His jaw drops. "Look at that!" Trump exclaims, pointing at the screen where the Backrooms entities are saluting Kim in perfect unison. "He defeated the yellow rooms. Everyone says it's impossible. But he did it. He's a god, they say. A total god." Trump paces around the room, visibly agitated. "I have the best nukes. Everyone says so. Bigger than his. But did I get the Backrooms to surrender? No. The fake news media says the Backrooms is too scary for me. Can you believe it?" He picks up a red phone. "Get me Kim. Tell him I want to be the Supreme Leader of the Backrooms too. Maybe we can share it? Or I take over. I know more about back rooms than anyone. My uncle was a great professor at MIT, very good with rooms. I will make the Backrooms great again. It will be so great, the entities will cry tears of joy." Trump stares jealously at the screen as Kim Jong Un inspects a line of trembling Partygoers. "He's the Supreme Leader of a nightmare dimension," Trump mutters. "And I'm just the leader of Florida. It's not fair. I want to be a god too."